Ep #153: The #1 Reason Coaches Are Not Confident

Hi docs, welcome to The EntreMD Podcast, where it’s all about helping amazing physicians just like you embrace entrepreneurship so you can have the freedom to live life and practice medicine on your terms. I’m your host, Dr. Una.

Well, hello, hello. Welcome back to The EntreMD Podcast. As always, super excited to be in your ears. And thank you so much for being a listener. Thank you so much for leaving reviews. It makes a huge, huge, huge difference. Thank you for sharing the word about the podcast to others.

Today, I want us to look at something I really love talking about. It comes up a lot when I talk with coaches. And there’s this lack of confidence. Like, “I can’t sell.” And the real reason why they’re not selling is they’re not confident in what they do.

Have you ever felt that way? Like, “I can’t charge money for this. I charge them money and they don’t get any results, it will be like I’m a fraud. Am I even sure of what I’m doing?” You may be thinking, “I’m not sure of what I’m doing, so I shouldn’t do it.” I mean, come on. That’s exactly the way you felt in medicine, like I’m not sure what I’m doing, it doesn’t mean you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s just that thing there.

So, I would maybe say imposter syndrome. But Dr. Catherine Toomer, who is a student in the EntreMD Business School, she did a TED Talk, and it was about imposter syndrome. It was so good. You should actually go check it out. I’ll have the link in the show notes. You should check it out. Really good. Where it’s like, “Well, is that really imposter syndrome? Or is that just showing up because I’m doing something great and amazing all by myself?” I love it. You should go listen to it.

But anyway, so we’re going to look at the number one reason why coaches are not confident. And at the end of this episode, you are going to have a clear path to increase your confidence every single day. You’re going to leave with your confidence already upgraded, but you’re going to know how to up-level it.

And this is so powerful. This is something that I’ve used. You’ve heard my story a lot. I was not a very confident person. I was an introvert. I was very shy. I didn’t have a lot of confidence in what I could produce. I was like, “People are better than me, so that’s why they have better businesses, better practices, and all that stuff. I’m just here also trying to do something. I felt like the underdog, you know, in that kind of way.

And I look back and I’m like, oh my goodness, I’ve come so far. And so, I want to show you some things to do. Now, the number one reason why coaches are not confident is because they’re not clear on the value they produce. They’re not clear. They’re not clear that if you work with me, this will happen. If you work with me, this is the transformation you can have.

And this is even for coaches who have created massive results. But they’re still not clear on that value. And so, I’m going to show you two ways you can get clear and what you can start working on so that you can become confident, so you can make offers confidently.

I’m sure you look at people who make offers confidently and you’re like, “Wow, it would be amazing to do that.” And you’re going to find out exactly how you can do that.

So, two things. How do I get clear on the value I provide, the results I create so that I can tell people about what I do and tell them to come work with me very confidently?

So, the answer is not fake it until you make it. So, the first thing you need to do is you need to look for evidence. You need to look for evidence. Who have you served before? What results did they get?

It is so easy to say, “Yeah, I worked with them and this happened…” and move on. No, you need to sit with it. You need to make a list of the people you’ve worked with and you need to go, like, “Okay, so I worked with this person and they were on the verge of divorce, but now their marriage is thriving. I worked with this person and they wanted to get rid of 50 pounds and I helped them, and together we create a plan, we did all the things, and they lost 45 pounds. I worked with this person who has always been so intimidated by everybody, thinking that she wasn’t deserving. I taught her how to negotiate. She negotiated for a raise. She negotiated for a management position. She negotiated for a scribe. I worked with this other person. They always wanted to start a business. They finally got the business off the ground and got their first three clients.”

Do you see what I’m saying? If you’ve worked with people, you’ve had these things. But if you don’t stop to take stock, you don’t realize the value of what you do. So, you literally need to go and take stock.

When I say take stock, I mean like pull out a notebook, write down names, and start playing out the wins that you’ve helped people create. In the beginning, you may say, “Well there are no big wins.” And that is the greatest deception of the century.

I need you to go write those wins, big or small, and you need to own them big or small. Because if someone walks up to you and tells you, “I’ve been meaning to launch a podcast for the last two years and not been able to do it until I started working with you,” excuse you. They hadn’t been able to do that for two years. Two years.

And if they didn’t work with you, they may have waited another two. You saved them two years. So, you may dismiss that, like there’s nothing to that. No, there is something to that. It’s a big deal.

Alright, so you need to literally go pull out a notebook, pull out a pen, star writing down names of people you’ve worked with and the results you’ve gotten them.

And you might be going, like, “Dr. Una, but I haven’t worked with any clients.” And then my question for you would be this. Have you worked with anybody?

Because the you that helped people before you decided to become a coach is the same you now. Like, you’re you. Like, Nneka before you started, you’re still Nneka, right?

So, I’ll give you an example. When I started EntreMD, I hadn’t worked with anybody since I started EntreMD. Because I had just started EntreMD. But before I started EntreMD, before I decided I’m going to do this like I mean it, I need to help doctors, we shouldn’t have to live like this, we paid too much of a price to not have careers and have the financial freedom and time freedom that we deserve.

Before I made that decision, I had helped people. I had helped people start practices. I had mentored people and helped them start businesses. I had done all these things. But I never thought about it. I never took stock of it. I never – I mean, the people have to do the work, so I didn’t do the work. But I was a facilitator. I was a catalyst. I was part of the process. I coached them through that.

And I have my own practice that I built that was doing well and all of that. So, I have evidence. But I had to go look for it. I had to go look for it. So, it could be paid clients, if you have them. It could be people that didn’t pay you if you have them as well.

You need to say, wait a minute, I stood with them and together we did that. I stood with them and together we did that. And if you do that, you realize, wait a minute, if you work with me, this can happen.

You might say, “Dr. Una, I hear you. I don’t have any paid clients and I haven’t helped anybody in that capacity.” I seriously doubt it, but for the benefit of the doubt, this is what I want you to do. I want you to go out on social media and say, “I am so excited. I ran away from this for a while, but I am now a life coach. I help people do X, Y, Z, or I’m a weight loss coach,” or whatever. “I help people do X, Y, Z… and this month, I just want to serve. So. I’ve opened up my calendar to do 10 coaching sessions. And if you are struggling with boom, boom, boom and you would like results like bam, bam, bam, then get on my calendar and let’s create some wins for you.”

I can guarantee you, you will have more than 10 people who will say, “I want a free coaching session.” And you’re going to do those sessions and you’re going to do your best work and you’re just going to ask them what they got out of it, what they’re going to do with it. Or you can even say, “Hey, I’m going to reach out in a month and I want to pick on the wins that you’ve created.”

You will create enough wins to start building the evidence, so you can become clear on the value you create. And the fact that they didn’t pay doesn’t mean they’re not clients.

Now, I’m going to say this here. I am not saying that you should do free coaching for a year. I am saying you should just do these 10 so you can get evidence that you can use to convince yourself of your value. And I might as well throw it in there, if they’ll give you written and video reviews, that’s amazing, take them.

So, get the evidence, sit with the evidence. Meditate on the evidence. Own the evidence. Understand what happens when people work with you. It’s evidence.

And you can spread the word about these wins everywhere. You know, “I was so blessed to work with this client…” of course, results that you can share. If they shared it with you and stuff like that, or you ask for permission, you can send them a Google form, they can fill out how working with you changed their lives and all of that stuff and give you permission to share.

And you share it and show up confidently, like this is what I do. It will do wonders for your confidence; wonders. When I started out as a coach, the word to describe what I felt is shame. Like, I was like, “Oh so Tony Robbins is a business coach and now you’re going to claim you’re a business coach? What are you doing? You’re a physician. You’re not a coach. What are you doing?” All of that stuff.

But I had to sit with it. And I helped this person start a practice, and now he has financial freedom and now he’s working four days a week and he put the practice on his own real estate and he’s just killing it. That’s what I did.

This other person, just out of high school, all that stuff, I helped them set up a business, just great. And I sat with it and sat with it and owned it. And I was like, “Man, I’m a catalyst.” People who have dreams that are just dormant or dead, I bring them back to life and help them make it real.

I came to terms with the value that I provide. So, that’s the first thing you do, look for evidence. Now, the second thing is now that you have the evidence, you’re going to clarify the wins you offer people. You’re going to clarify what that is.

And let me look for a few examples. You’ll find this to be very helpful. When I say clarify, what I mean is don’t just do the primary result. Trace it all the way to the end. So, for instance, if someone says, “I’m a burnout coach. I help people overcome burnout.” And so you say, “What happened When you worked with her?”

“I’m no longer burned out.” What does that mean? Most people won’t say, “I’m no longer burned out.” They’ll tell you. But what does that mean? It means I was burned out, I was no longer even emotionally invested in my family. Once I get back from work, I yell at the kids because I’m too tired and they have all this stuff to do, I yell at my husband because he’s not understanding of all the things I’m doing. I go to bed, I’m not eating right so I’m gaining all this weight, I’m tired all the time. I look in the mirror, I don’t understand how my life turned out this way. This was not the dream. But now, I got an extra day off from work, I started taking care of myself better.

I started making dates with myself to check in and make sure that I’m okay and for self-care and all those things. My daughter walked up to me and say, “Mommy, I like you so much better because you’re not yelling anymore.” And my husband and I, we just celebrated our 10^th anniversary and this is the best our marriage has been in 10 years.

Do you see what I mean? You’re clarifying the win. So, when someone says, “Oh, I don’t believe in that coaching stuff.” It doesn’t bother you because you’re like, look what happens when people work with me.

When people say, “Oh, you’re so expensive,” you can look and say, no look what happens when people work with me. That is so different from saying, “I fixed her burnout.” So, you have to be clear on what that is.

And you say, “Well, that’s not my thing. I’m a business coach.” Okay, so I’m a business coach and someone worked with me and they made their first $10,000. They had their first $10,000 month. And that’s like, oh my goodness, that’s amazing. They had their first six-figure month, oh my word, that’s amazing.

Okay, but what if we traced it? What if we traced it where mom and dad were working and dad always wanted to spend the time to invest in his kids’ education, homeschool them himself, or with the kind of financial pressure they were under, well, they couldn’t afford to let one paycheck go.

But then I created all these wins in my business and I was so excited. But what I’m more excited about is what it has made possible. It has made it possible for my husband to then decide to work from home two hours a week while he spends tie homeschooling our kids so that they can grow up to be world-changers. Because that’s what we want.

For the first time, we were able to take a three-week vacation. I didn’t have to go with a pager. I didn’t have to check my email. I didn’t have to do that because I built this business and I finally got it to where it’s producing multiple five figures every month, I was able to drop to part time at my own job. I’m sleeping better. The weight is falling off. I’m able to exercise. I’m able to make out the time for that. I’m able to build quality relationships with my friends Our marriage is better. Our children are better. I now am able to invest in real estate because I have the discretionary income. And all of this stuff.

You trace all of it. You’re literally changing lives. And I know it sounds like I’m making this up, but I’ve had clients say, “Working with you, I mean, my marriage is better. My health is better. My mood is so much better. I was depressed. My mood is so much better because I feel like I have a fresh new lease of life.”

I’m a business coach. I don’t do any of that stuff directly. But you fix one area, it fixes all the other areas, in a way. So, you need to come to terms, you know – some will say, “I bought two properties for my two kids, and by the time they’re 25 it will be paid off and it just produces residual income for them.” You’re helping people create generational wealth.

When you do that, then you’re confident. So, you need to clarify the wins. So, I’m no longer burned out, how does that look? Oh, I made this much money in my business, how does that look? How does that look in your life? And that’s’ what you do.

So, you look for the evidence and you clarify the wins that you offer people. Now, I’m going to throw this out here because, invariably, you’re either going to have somebody who’s like, “Oh, I didn’t create any wins,” or they’re like, “Well, your coaching didn’t help me.” Oh my gosh, that is like a one-star review for my private practice people who are listening.

Okay, I can say this now because this is my 11^th year as an entrepreneur. Best believe that this was not my thought when I started. So, if you struggle with this, I understand it. But this is the wiser version of me, so please listen.

When someone says, You didn’t help me, your practice sucks, your coaching sucks…” and believe it or not, I’ve had someone tell me that. It didn’t make a difference. It did make a difference, and later he told me that it made a difference. But yeah, when someone says, “You didn’t help me,” I want you to look at it differently.

It’s a gift. I know, I know, I hear you groan. But it’s a gift. And I’ll explain. When you get this gift, you need to investigate and see what you can improve on. Now, there may not be anything in the sense that that would have made a difference for that person. But is there something I can improve on?

If the issue is, well, they didn’t do their part, they didn’t take action, is there something else I could have done to trigger the action? Is there something else I could do to help people overcome this mindset block so then they can take the action? Do you see what I’m saying?

What could I do to improve this, improve my service, improve – you think about that. Not in a way like, my service is so awful, what could I do to even make it good? No. What can I do to improve this This is an opportunity to make something that’s good even better.

And the second thing is, please hear me, don’t make it mean anything. Don’t make it mean, “That means I’m an awful coach. That means I need to go get another certification. That means I should take a year off. That means the other results that people are getting, those are just coincidences.” Don’t make it mean anything.

They may just be taking their frustrations out on you. Don’t make it mean anything. So, what can I improve? And don’t buy a narrative that’s going to hurt you, a narrative that’s not true.

So, what do I want you to do? I want you to go pull out a journal, take a moment, pull out evidence, clarify the wins, and start up-leveling your confidence. And you’ll see it go through the roof. And you’ll be able to stand and promote what you do and make offers confidently. Because you know what happens when people work with you.

Yay. So that’s what I have for you. Go be confident. Take a screenshot of this and go share what you learned. Put it on social media. Tag me, #entremd. I’ll check it out, shout you out, root for you, and do all the things. I love seeing confident physician coaches.

You don’t have to fake it until you make it. You can just make it. So, go make it. And I will see you on the next episode of The EntreMD Podcast.

Hey, if you love listening to The EntreMD Podcast I want to invite you to join EntreMD On Demand. It is my signature subscription program that gives you access to a library of business courses designed to help you do one thing as a physician entrepreneur, and that is to thrive. Just head out to entremd.com/ondemand and I’d love to have you join us. See you on the inside.